Friday, August 28, 2009

lighter


My entire life, I've lived for the next stage (college, marriage, becoming a parent) thinking that once I reached whatever marker was next, my spiritual life would finally be at the point that I had always dreamed it would be...especially when it came to this stage of being a mom.  

In years past, when I imagined myself in this role, I always thought I would be wiser and stronger than ever before and that everything would be just as it should, but the truth is that I have often felt so weak.  There have been many days when I place worry and fear above my hope and trust in the Lord.  

I wonder if Anniston is eating enough (or so much that she spits up), if she is reaching her milestones on time, and if she is being over-stimulated or under-stimulated.  I fear that giving her the pacifier often will affect her speech, wonder if she is sleeping too little or too long at nap time, and worry that she will be okay during the night.  worry, worry, worry...

But then I hear a whisper in my soul.  

He tells me that He is in control and that He has given me this moment in time to soak up what is good instead of fretting the unknown or the unimportant.

It's been a daily battle, but the fear and worry are dwindling.  I never realized before just how much control I desire and how little control I actually have.  I've been getting into His Word more and rebuking these fears, and I can honestly say that I feel lighter.  That word, light, is the best way I can describe His love and grace right now.  Jesus said "my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:30)  So true.



6 comments:

Carey said...

I did a study a couple of years ago about that very verse and when you get down to root of those words, easy and light it actually means it was made for us. Custom fit...His plan, Abiding in His strength--that's what we are made to do!
I know exactly what you mean, I can honestly say if nothing else being a mom has shown me the trust issues I really have! Giving away your rights is one thing, but giving up rights to your child is even harder...thanks for the encouragement!
Luv u!

"GG"s Journal said...

A mother's love and concern is always there... but as you said, the control is not ours but His. Over the days and years, when you remind yourself... as I do often... of Who is really in control your heart will become light and easy. I'm thankful you know His Word and Trust Him in your life. I'm proud of you! You are a good mom. Your dad and I talk about all the time how blessed Anniston is to have you and Stan as parents. Enjoy every moment!

love you,
mom "GG"

Shane and Ashley Bray said...

A mother's worry for her child is something God understands more than anyone but knowing that He is in control and to give that worry to Him is part of His plan. Mothers will continue to think about the what if's but God is the what is! and we have to believe in that. Also trust yourself as a mother - God did!

Frazier's Family said...

Amen! I can't imagine being a mother without knowing God. The stress would be truly unbearable. Your words, as always are comforting to hear. Hugs-

Anonymous said...

Good good words to remember and think about when we try to take over!

Being a Mom is the HARDEST most rewarding job EVER! Thank You LORD that we don't have to do it alone!

Christi

Pam Scott said...

Lindsey,
Your wise words speak to all mothers at every stage of life, infant through adult children. It is a continual struggle between control and letting go, and in the end, all we can do is place our children in God's hands for His will and His purpose. Thanks for sharing this message and verse today. Your blog continues to be an inspiration and encouragement to me.
Hugs,
Pam Scott