We've had a rough couple of weeks. Rough, but wonderful. I guess that's how spiritual battles usually are...difficult because we're in the middle of a fight, but amazing knowing whose side we're on in this trial.
The truth is that Anniston has been having some mild seizures lately, but she is doing great. I almost hate to say seizure because I know the image that first comes to my mind when hearing that load-bearing word, but these spells look nothing like what we saw shortly after her stroke or how I have ever imagined one to appear. It's really just a repetitive movement on her affected side because her brain is still healing. We've been told that these episodes are not causing any damage, but her doctors want to get them under control as soon as possible for various reasons. It appears that either her body is not accepting her seizure medicine like it had in the beginning or that she has just outgrown her previous dosage due to another major growth spurt. (The latter is a very likely culprit seeing that she has gained half a pound in only a week!) We've upped her dosage for the last week (per her neurologist's orders), and the episodes seem to be improving...the duration and frequency have been pretty constant, but they don't seem to be quite as strong as they were a week ago.
None of that sounds too bad, right? It's really not, but can I just say that I think this has been the most difficult time Stan and I have had since she was born? Crazy, right? She's been through so much, and God has done an amazing work in her little body from the beginning, but we have been so very attacked. Honestly, we're tired and ready to be past all of these trials with her health. He's been chipping away at us a lot this year, and all for good reason, I know, but it's hard. We just want to be normal, but I'm sure letting go of this selfishness is part of the lesson we're supposed to learn here.
Everything I've already written is true. Yes, we've seen these things with Anniston's health lately, and yes, it's been tough for me and Stan, but if there's anything I've learned this year (thanks to the Lord and a couple of incredibly wise mentors in our town), it's that we are of a Higher truth. Just as a sweet friend reminded me the other day : "He is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine, according to the power that is at work within us." (Ephesians 3:20) He is more powerful than any diagnosis, sin, heartache, financial crisis, dispute, etc that any of us may be walking through right now.
I don't want to be bound by my human thoughts and fears, and I don't want to limit God or hinder Him from doing the amazing work that He wants to do in our family. Stan actually walked into the room the other day just glowing...it was like the truth hit him hard (and me in that moment) that God's power is actually IN us. I'm sure the Lord gets frustrated with us for not accepting that strength and peace that He suffered for and has made available to us...if we would just receive it. Utilize it. Make it our own. This is where we are and what we're learning, and it's freeing.
It seems as though there are always so many praises to give our Lord when these struggles come. Could it be that the enemy is trying to distract us from the "power that is at work within us"? I whole-heartedly believe so. My focus needs to be on these praises, so here they are!!: Like I have mentioned many times lately, Anniston is growing fast! If there is ever a doubt that a "cardiac-kid", as they call them, is doing well, the first question asked is: "How are the feeds?" Well, if you have ever seen her eat, you know that Anniston is a VERY good and eager eater. Praise!! We went back to the pediatrician last Wednesday, and he listened to her heart and said it was pumping nice and easy! Praise!! Also, since birth, Anniston has been on a calcium supplement, and her doctor wanted to test her levels to see if low calcium could be contributing to her having these episodes. The nurse called Friday to tell me that her levels are within the normal range!!! I cannot express how huge this is because she has definitely grown lots since that dosage was initially administered (meaning that she has been weaning herself from that dose just by gaining weight). Also, when your body is under stress, calcium levels typically drop, but hers are obviously not too low! Praise again!!
Do you have any praises or requests? After talking so much about us and our circumstances, I am convicted that I'm not looking outside of myself as I should. I'd love to pray for you and/or to rejoice with you in your walk. Much love always...